Gun and Trigger
by Meva
Summary: Contemplations of a man holding a gun


Disclaimer: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author  
  
Series: Nowhere specifically  
  
Summary: Contemplations of a man holding a gun  
  
Spoilers: None that I know of  
  
Author's Notes: I would like to apologise straight away for any weirdness in my story to do with techno stuff and any technical mumbo jumbo... well u get my point lol and if u dont like to see death in a fic than i suggest you dont read this one coz im kinda trying to write more of these  
  
Gun and Trigger  
  
It's funny after everything in my life, all the things I have seen and all the things I have done that my death would rest in the metal revolver I hold in my hands. I mean I am a member of a stargate team that explores other worlds through this amazing gate with a blue horizon, I would have thought that a staff blast or hand device would have been my means of death not this old slowly rusting revolver. I turn it over in my hands time after time as if looking at it will somehow make the reality that she isn't ever coming back less horrific. God it's only been a month and already it feels like my heart has been ripped from my chest and all there is left is a hollow shell of a man.  
  
I know what I am about to do is selfish but Goddamnit I can't be without her, I loved and still love her too much for me to continue on without her. It's amazing you can tell me that I might not survive something or that my chances of coming out of a situation are a hundred to one and I will do it anyway but those four little words " No chance of recovery " shattered me into two and shredded all hope i had left.  
  
The worse thing is I know she is the way she is, laid up in bed with needles stuck into her is because of me. I should have ordered an evac as soon as we came through the gate instead I ordered us on and walked us straight into a Jaffa ambush. I should have protected her, I should have been the one to take that staff blast to the side, NOT HER!!   
  
For the very first time in my life my hand shakes as I hold the gun, I can't deal with the fact that she is never coming back and god the guilt I feel is overwhelming. My love for her is eternal and now that she is gone I just...just need to be free. I have spent my whole life fighting and when I met her and got to know her I thought maybe for once in my life I didn't have to fight anymore.  
  
I guess I can't put it off any longer, I have delayed this decision in the hopes she would recover but after Janet told me " No chance of recovery " now is the time for me to be free and with the one i love.  
  
Silence......  
  
  
BANG  
  
  
Silence......  
  
  
ELSEWHERE....  
  
Daniel and Teal'c sat beside Sam's bedside watching the mechanical breaths she took, Daniel took Sam's hand in his and began to pray watching quietly by Teal'c. Daniel felt tears course down his face before he looked up at Sam's pale face.  
  
" Come on Sam you got to wake up, you have to prove all those doctor's wrong!"  
  
Daniel looked to Teal'c and then sighed before observing a missing member,  
  
" Teal'c, where's Jack?"  
  
Tea'c swung round and replied," I do not know Daniel Jackson, he was right behind me a few minutes ago."  
  
Daniel's eyes widened in fear before he staggered to his feet and muttered," Stay with Sam Teal'c I have to find Jack!"  
  
Teal'c watched his friend run off along the SGC corridors with a perturbed look on his face and was only broken out of his worried thoughts by something brushing across his hand. He looked to Sam and watched in amazement as Sam's eyes opened slowly.  
  
" Major Carter?"  
  
Sam winced slightly at the pounding in her head and the lights blinded her for a second before she focused on a blurry figue," Teal'c?"  
  
Teal'c simply nodded and replied," It is good to see you awake again Major Carter."  
  
" What...what happened?"  
  
" We arrived on P3X-645 and were ambushed by Jaffa and as we were attempting escape u were hit in the side with a staff blast. You had lost a lot of blood by the time we arrived back at the SGC, the damage was too severe and you fell into a coma, one Janet thought you would never awake from."  
  
Sam nodded weakly before she asked," Where are the Colonel and Daniel?" The look on Teal'c's face did not fill her with optimism.  
  
MEANWHILE...  
  
Daniel was worried, he had looked everywhere he thought Jack would have been but there was no sign. He slammed the elevator buttons and waited impatiently and as they opened he sprinted out and scanned the surface of the mountain. He was aware of airman's giving him strange looks but he didn't care.  
  
" Hey, have you two seen the Colonel?"   
  
The two airman at the front of the complex's entrance looked to one another before one of them replied," He headed that way." he gestured to the carpark. Daniel nodded and ran off leaving the two airman looking at one another confused.  
  
Daniel looked around frantically before his worse fears were confirmed, an all too familiar build dressed in navy BDU's lay still a few metres away from him. He ran over but as he got closer his legs gave way and as tears built in his eyes he crawled closer to the still figure. He reached out with one hand and as he turn the person over he howled in loss as his friend's Jack O'Neill's lifeless eyes looked back at him.  
  
He clutched at Jack frantically as sobs racked his body, no this couldn't be happening not after everything that had happened. Jack couldn't be dead! He looked to Jack's lifeless hand and cried in despair as the instrument of Jack's death was still clutched tightly in his hand. Daniel shook Jack and cried angrily," No! You can't be dead!!"  
  
He was too caught up in his grief that he didn't even hear the footsteps behind him, the only thing that alerted him to someone else's presence was the hand on his shoulder. Daniel swung round and met the worried gazes of both Sam and Teal'c. Teal'c was supporting Sam and despite her weakened state Sam asked," What happened?"  
  
" He....he's dead Sam!"  
  
" No your wrong, no the Colonel, Jack is not dead." Sam insisted on then brink of tears, she collapsed to her knees beside Daniel and stroked Jack's pale cold face. Teal'c watched as his two friends mourned for the loss of their friend, he bowed his head as one tear escaped his eye.  
  
" Why?" stuttered Sam  
  
" I believe the Colonel chose death as he thought you were gone from his life Samantha Carter."  
  
Sam looked up at Teal'c," What?"  
  
Daniel nodded sadly and replied," Jack was in love with you Sam, I could see it in the way he looked and smiled at you. He nearly killed himself once before when he lost someone dear to him...the loss of you must have pushed his trigger finger."  
  
Sam shook as she gazed upon the bloodened face of her dead commanding officer, friend and most of all the man she loved. She ran a hand down his face before slowly and carefully with her hand made her way down to the gun in his hand. Sam praised all the training she had been given in the US armed forces as her venture had gone unnoticed by either Teal'c or Daniel.  
  
She whispered gently," I love you Jack and goodbye Daniel!"  
  
Daniel's head snapped round and he watched in dismay as Sam placed the gun to her head and pulled the trigger, he cried out in anguish as the gun topple to the ground and Sam collapsed lifeless. Teal'c looked to Daniel before he dropped to his knees by his fallen friends. Daniel looked to Teal'c and both sat shaking unaware of Hammond and Janet who had followed Teal'c and Sam stood watching in shock.  
  
The SGC would never be the same again.  
  
  
THE END!  
  
Authors note: Well i hope u enjoyed that sorry im a little rusty, haven't written anything for yonks so sorry if it was a tad wooden lol and its good 2 be back lol 


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